Last night,
13/14.06.2018 while I was present in my office and reading and listening some calming
music, all of sudden I had a feeling of emptiness and it seems that my head
grew heavy and rest of the body got light without having any feeling. There was
some ocean type strong waves of whirlpool moving indistinctly occurring inside
my head. I could feel that something wanted to come out of my head and making
an attempt to release from that limited space. It was something wide and bigger
roaring like a stormed sea and then unaware as a natural instinct I just hold my head and close my eyes with
my palms. It was an effort to stable the whirlpool feeling and calming down the
storm inside the head. On that moment I realised that for the last few minutes
I was totally empty inside and no thought, view, no sight no listening, no
reading nor sleeping too. I don’t remember whether it was ¾ minutes or 7/8
minutes or more as I did not see the clock not before the beginning nor after
when I opened my eyes. I have regained my conscious back and till now trying to be
acting normal. Thereafter I diverted myself and wrote a few words. It had
happened about 15 hrs back- now it is 16.55 hrs. Thereafter I had a sleep of
about 4/5 hrs in break. While sleeping I was not sleeping too. It was just like
resting while keeping eyes closed but I was sleeping too some of the time. What
I am noticing that I am hardly speaking 20% of the normal speaking. I want to
be quite as much as possible. I have become least bothered about the things
occurring around me. Feeling like not attracted to anything. I am having a
strong feeling of denouncing everything behind me and proceed to unknown. It is
of course not the Himalayas or some ashram then where? I will try to find the
answer hiding in this moment. However I love this feeling of peace,
quietness and free.
