I am dead

I am dead..

by Arun Sharma on Friday, March 18, 2011 at 8:19pm

 So at last I am dead for world, but what I am feeling that I can’t control my body movements but I can still hear, smell and feel the contacts. I can see people around me. I want to say hey buddies don’t think I am dead, I am still alive like you and have all emotions and feelings but I cant. my body is resting and beyond my control. I have heard that souls  don’t feel pain and can’t be hit.... but my body which u have put on floor is having pain from hard surface as I not used to this before... no this bed sheet is not sufficient for me , I need proper mattress and bring me a pillow as well ... why you trying to cover my face with cloth.. I have never slept like this before... it is suffocating and claustrophobic feeling.... I am angry and want to tell that enough is enough.... if you think I am dead, you are bloody wrong....only difference is that I am not able to hit you back, I am not able to move like you are moving otherwise I am still looking at you all... oh no now you have come with wooden ladder and started tying me with rope... it is too tight and giving me emotional break downs ... please put me over the bed and call some one who can understand that I am still alive... why are you making so much weeping sounds, I don’t like them.... and where are you taking me.... is someone there who can hear me... it is all in vain... oh I have been drowned ...it is no way of giving bath ... lots of water had entered ..gallop...gallop... oh men why I am being given trouble by you... you all are my friends and behaving strange like this, we have celebrated many success together and had fun..... please don’t put me over the pyre...I know what you are going to do with me... please don’t burn me.... look this is being done with dead people not alive like me.... oh god they have put oil over me and put pieces of wooden... now I understand the meaning of saying that in hell you will be fried like snacks if we commit sin we would be burn in fire... we would be drowned in water and lot of suffocation.... the pain which is occurring to me is the result of my sins.... I ask forgiveness from you all ...throughout my life I had never become a good person that is why I am suffering.... if another chance be given I will try to become a better man.... I have started weeping and asking for forgiveness which I gave to none when I was alive.. I was feeling ashamed as I was miser in giving and worst in taking and now I have3 nothing else with me except my repentance for my deeds.. I have started counting my good deeds during my life but I could not cross even five. Throughout the life I have tried to speak with god and now I want to hear him. I caused pain to people just to gain little and seduced them to have benefit from them, exploited them in the name of relations, friendship, love, caring and now I have realized that these were my sins which have brought this unending pain to me. I know i don’t deserve god to be my side but if he could give another chance I will try to be a better human and this is what I think my prayers have been listened. My pain has started decreasing, the feeling of burn’s has gone down and what I can see a white soothing light is over me and a child like angle who has just appeared and come to me and hold my hand and all pain has gone completely and I could feel flying , he smiled and without his spoken words I can hear that he is my savior and has answered my cries, I have started crying with happiness. He takes me out from me... I am above everything and seeing myself lying over the pyre... the priest is saying the prayer and now the fire is given to me... I asked for forgiveness from god and may be some of my good karma have helped me that is why my pain ends before fire to my funeral otherwise I had to suffer with fire as well....I was taken a little high and as I close my eyes for few moments in happiness, I have found myself travelling through a tunnel and I can see a light which is soothing and bright. After a while I reached on the other side of tunnel. The atmosphere is pleasant and good. There is no noise and the angle who was with me has gone in the light, I am at new place , it is peaceful and friendly but I miss earth and its fruits, may be some day I will back and this time I may try to be less sinful and arrogant. I will try to help other and try to give them happiness so that when I will leave me, my suffering will be lesser than this time... I thank to all who have come to pray for best of luck for my further travelling ..now I know I was dead at the moment when my body stops to communicate with my soul, it is only my ego which was telling a false fact so that I may suffer my sufferings and pain for my sins. Now I know that next time when I shall do my karma without any sin so that I do not have to remain in me to suffer and have pain caused after death.

*WHILE WRITING THIS ARTICLE, THE AUTHOR HAS EXPLAINED RITUALS PRESCRIBED IN HINDU RELIGION BUT IF YOU COMPERE IT WITH ANY LAST RITUALS PRESCRIBED IN ANY RELIGION, YOU WOULD FIND IT MEANINGFUL IN THAT CONTEXT TOO i.e. BURYING, BURIAL AT SEA / SPACE, PROMESSION, Ritual exposure of the dead, Exposure to scavenger birds, Mummification, ETC.